So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
