I'm lost and stupid without you.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
and i looked up. we had an audience...
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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