we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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