Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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