thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
My balls are so social today.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
