Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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