i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
he high fived his dick after we had sex
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
