I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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