I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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