Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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