I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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