You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
