PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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