I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
