I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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