Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
