I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
