I'm going to rape someone's good day.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Randomize
