I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
