can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
