At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Randomize
