Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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