11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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