So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
