and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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