Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
