Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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