The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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