i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
