Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
