Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
tell me about the fingering
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
