so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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