She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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