Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
