u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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