Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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