Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
