(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
