I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Randomize
