a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
if only i could text you this smell
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
