i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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