I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
