Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize