when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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