got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
There r osticjed everywhere
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
My life is pants optional.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
