and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
