We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
