Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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