Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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