so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
this is an emotional support booty call
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
