Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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