from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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